Here are some inspirational testimonies from people that were bullied - to inspire you even further. I hope you all enjoy reading them like I did. Each one of these testimonies will have a different effect on every person. Be even more inspired.
Thank you to every person that took time to share their life story and experience with me. I am sure that every reader will truly be inspired. You are all fantastic.
Calvin Petersen’s Testimony
I was wondering how I should start this life story of mine and what makes this story so remarkable or more special than any other person’s life story. To tell you the truth it might not be that spectacular at all, but to some, it might just give the encouragement they need.
I will have to take you back all the way to when I was still a youngster. I am one of three children and we had a normal life, being a normal family, or to me it seemed very normal, but thinking back, it was everything but normal. I had a very loving father and mother and they really loved us all so much and tried to provide for us in every possible way. We lived a normal life but never really had any money to splash around or to get spoiled like the other children did, but in my eyes at that stage, I was pretty blessed as I had a hero for a father and a special mother.
As I mentioned my father was my hero, I have to add that he was also an alcoholic and very abusive towards my mother. Yes, you might ask yourself now why I would say he was my hero, but at that young age, your father is usually your hero, your rock, your provider and your example. Needless to say, he was far from a good example to me or my brother and sister if I look back now. There were times where he would come back home, smelling like alcohol and being so abusive to my mother. He even pulled a gun on her once and then on himself just to be funny. There were so many incidents like this; it would take days to put it all on paper, so I would leave it at that. I have seen how he would raise his hand to my mother and abuse her as if it was okay to do so. So looking back and knowing now what was right and wrong, I wish my father never had done that, because no man should ever act like that.
At the age of 7, my parents thought it would be best to split up as my farther also had a few affairs on the side. I believe that was the first turning point in my life. I was faced with the fact that my father, my hero, will not be in my immediate life anymore. I then realised that this was the beginning of a whole new life for us. We moved away from Heidelberg in the Free State and moved to Port Elizabeth. Now to give you bit of a background on the situation at that stage. My mother had no formal tertiary education and didn’t have a lot of money, but she thought it would be best that we needed to get on a train and move to PE. As we arrived in PE, we had no home, no car, no food or family or friends to go to. It was one of those moments in my life that I never want to relive again. To tell you the truth, I still don’t know how we made it through. It could only have been because of the mercy and grace of God above.
I realised at a very young age that I had to grow up very quickly as I needed to set an example for my younger brother and sister. I need to be the ‘Father’ now at the age of 7. It is incredible to think that a young child could make such grown up decisions, but I do believe still today that, that was God in action.
You will pick up that I do fall back or mention my beliefs often in this story, but this will be the cornerstone of everything. I found and experienced God’s love at an early age and without Him by my side and in my heart, I would not be here today and would not have achieved any of my achievements as I did. To cut a long story short, I attended 9 different primary schools all over the country as my mother moved from job to job, city to city, trying to provide for her three children. So I do know how it feels like to force yourself to accept change and to embrace it. To face it head on and stand strong.
There was one big problem to move around so many times and to be in 9 different primary schools in 7 years that was that I never got the time to really make friends. I was always the new kid. The kid that did not fit in - the odd one out. That played a huge factor in my low self-esteem going forward in life. I started to crawl back into my shell to protect myself against life.
Now remember I was the oldest of three and I had to be strong for my brother and sister and never wanted them to notice what was going on in my own thoughts and my mother never noticed how broken I was inside as she was so focused on her own problems and trying to stay afloat to provide for us. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t blame or resent her for that. I just never told her what I was going through because I wanted to be strong for my family as in my mind, I was the oldest and needed to be the man in the house. I started to live in my own world. I managed a way to solve problems in my own thoughts, in my own private time and never shared it with anyone. So I was in a very difficult place at that time of my life as I needed to stand strong at home, but was too afraid to go to school as I was afraid of what the kids would say. I was ashamed that I did not have a father at home like the other children did. I was ashamed of not having food to take to school, I was insecure because at that stage I just did not feel worthy of anything. So life at home was hard and life at school was even worse.
At the age of 12, my world collapsed as I got news that my father took his own life. That was the second big turning point in my life. Now remember, I had no self-esteem, I did not believe in myself, I did not know who I was or who I was meant to be. I always had this idea that everything will be okay. One day I would see my father again and we could have that father and son relationship, but that dream was taken away from me at the age of 12.
Now I know this is all about being bullied at school or in life, but I need you to understand why my life turned out the way it did and it all originated at an early childhood. That is why I need to open up and explain a bit how I grew up and what cards I got dealt with in life. I started to develop a lot of insecurities about myself and doubted myself in every way possible. In what I wanted out of life, in where I want to go forward in life. I really felt alone in life at that point when I lost my farther. I got angry at the world and I really felt like the victim.
Just after I went through all of this with my farther passing, I started my high school career. This was a huge time in my life. I went to an all boy school in Stellenbosch, namely Paul Roos. If I think back on those days, it awakens a bitter sweet feeling inside me. It was a time where I had to grow up very fast and focus on what I wanted to achieve. It was also a time where I experienced the worst bullying ever.
I had the worst self-esteem at that stage; I just could not stand up for myself at that stage of my life. I was even too afraid to talk to people. Shy and insecure is really not a good combination to have in an all boy school. Those boys will eat you up for breakfast and that is exactly what happened and the worst part of it all, I let them do it to me. Don’t get me wrong, Paul Roos was the best thing that ever could have happened to me but also during that time, it felt like the worst thing that could happen to me. A total contradiction, I know.
Now to make matters worse, I had to go to boarding school. I was very home bound and wanted to stay in an environment where I felt wanted, safe and in control. Now I was in this place where I was alone, where I was mocked, where I really felt so alone. I was not like the other guys as I just did not fit in. I cried myself to sleep every night as I hated life, because I was the laughing stock in the hostel and school, where I felt so alone and sad. If I look back now, I realise that those hard times were actually the best thing that could have happened to me. That is why I mentioned earlier that the whole high school experience felt like one massive bitter sweet experience. In the moment I hated every second of it, but looking back, it will stand out as being the best years of my life, because I found myself in those hard times.
I had two choices, I could seek the easy road and just be a drop out or stay that person and you let people trample on you or I can take charge of my own life and make the best out of it. I was one of the lucky ones, but two of my mates weren’t so lucky. They were also victims of serious bullying and sadly they are not with us today. Both of them took their own lives, because of the incredible bullying they had to experience every single day and sadly it took a turn for the worst and they are not with us today. The worst part of it all, it is on the hands of those bullies today and they will have to live with it every day now.
I cannot stress this point more clearly, but if you are a bully in school or in life and you and your friends think it is funny to slander anyone else, I am telling the truth when I say, you are playing with fire. You can literally destroy a life. So my plea to you, stop the bullying and rather support each other. Be a real man or real woman, and stand against the crowd and stand for what is right. That is a true leader!!!
Coming back to my little life story. My high school years were a living hell every day. I was a small little shy guy who just went through it all and accepted this bullying. Through all this, I knew that I had to focus on my grades and work hard to make my life a huge success. I hung on tight to God and His word and I know that He would never let me go and I knew I will enjoy the fruits one day He wanted me to have. So I stayed steadfast in my way. I got stronger in the promise of the Lord that He will never forsake me and leave me alone. I will soar on the wings of eagles with Him by my side.
I went on to graduate matric and studied B.Com Financial Management through Unisa. At this stage, I really had the upper hand advantage above any bully. I had so much more life experience and I learned to focus on the important and shut out the negative. So I did the grown up thing and studied and worked at the same time. I got stronger and stronger, mentally and physically and I started to realise who I am and what a blessing I can be to others through what I had to go through in my short little life being only 20 years at that stage.
I graduated with honours in the 3 year degree term and I started my life as a free man. Free from bullying, free from what people think of me, free of that prison I kept myself in of all the insecurities. Life was now mine to own and on my terms. I went on becoming Mr Durbanville, and then went on to get 4th place in Mr SA in 2013 and was crowned Mr Personality 2013. I started with my own business and I do MC work today and Motivational Speaking. I will be on your TV sets very soon as I am embarking on my presenting work. I am a fitness model for Ice models and I can’t wait to take on a lot more.
Now if you look at all these achievements I’ve achieved, you will notice something very strange. I needed immense self-confidence to do any off those things and a few years ago I could not even talk to any person, as I was too shy to do so, much less talking to a complete stranger. I could not stand in front of a class room to do a normal oral speech and now I stand in front of thousands to talk. I could not look anybody in the eye as I was afraid to get bullied again, and afraid of what they might think of me. Now I stand bold with confidence and look into that lens of the camera or that business client and I do it with total confidence. I know who I am today and I know what I want out of life. No bully can take that away from me today. In fact, I dare them to try.
My last message to the bully: I think you must think twice before you slander anyone, and this just to make you feel better about yourself. I came to realise that all bullies are actually just very insecure with themselves and they hide behind the bullying. So rather don’t bully and stand up for what is right. You also might want to stop the bullying as you might be working for the person you are bullying, one day…. #JustSaying.
To all the girls and guys who gets bullied. I am begging you, DO NOT GIVE IN. You will get through this and you will most certainly walk out stronger on the other side. Focus on what you want in life and know that you are most precious in the eyes of the Lord and you will achieve any success you set for yourself to achieve. You might be shy now, or have a low self-esteem like I did for years, but just know that you are worthy and that this too shall pass. Take heart and go for gold.
